Square One...Again

Well as we know I can run again, sort of, and I’m back at square one, square one of a running schedule that is. Tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning, I am going to start the Couch to 5K program again, and I’m actually really nervous about it. I’m nervous because I love running, and I remember how far I was before the injury, which is way further than I had ever been before when it came to exercise, and it’s freaky to just start back at square one all over again.

It’s scary to remember that and then start from the beginning all over again, especially with the fear that I have of reinjuring myself, that’s the really freaky thing. It’s freaky to feel every twinge in my formerly injured ankle, twinges that weren’t there before. It’s freaky to feel the normal burn from before and think that it’s my tendons tearing again. And yes, I know the difference between the two pains, but I don’t want to push it you know? I don’t want to do something crazy and then get myself splinted again. That is one square I definitely do not want to face again.

And along with the nagging reinjury what if’s in my head, I also have the “what if I can’t do it?” What if I’m just too out of shape? According to one of my good friends it takes only three days to get out of shape, and I’ve had over 3 months! Over 3 months y’all! Before now, I hadn’t had more than a two or three day break from running in quite a while, and granted torn tendons are a darn good reason to not be running, but it’s still trippy.

So yeah…back to tomorrow…I start the program once again, and I’m nervous. But on the upside I know where to run and where to not run on my campus, namely places where I have a chance of twisting any body part. And even though I’m nervous and not feeling very confident about my running these days, probably because I haven’t done a lot of it in over 3 months, there is a silver lining to this. Because when starting at the bottom, aka square one, the only place to go is up, and that’s exactly where I plan on going, or rather, forward in my running shoes as I pound the pavement one minute at a time (and yes, I meant one minute).